Ashleyteng’s Says

today, once again, i cry,

when i was reading news and viewing those picture in utusan malaysia

i cry for them, the lebanese, the palestinian, the israel people. woman..children..old people..

i don’t care who attack who, i don’t care whose problem is it. i just know they are suffering! they are suffering! they have nothing related to the issue that caused the war occurs, but they are the one who feels the pain!

Especially the children, can they have a proper education environment like us now? can they eat delicious food everyday like us now? i mean a plain meal with proper nutritious is already consider delicious food.

few days ago an 8 month old baby die because of the bombing. what he knows? he only knew he was peacefully sleeping when his mother carry him, but he heard a sudden BANG, and his reseptor react, continues with his scream, end with his eyes open half way and feels nothing.

what has happened to our world? trying to do something but not exactly execute yet, the world are still waiting and waiting, while people there, are dying and dying.

what to do? let’s just mourn for them

sadhu sadhu sadhu

HEAL THE WORLD-michael jackson

HEAL THE WORLD, MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE

FOR YOU AND FOR ME AND THE ENTIRE HUMAN PLACE

THERE ARE PEOPLE DYING

IF YOU CARE ENOUGH FOR THE LIVING

MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE, FOR YOU AND FOR ME

~FOR YOU AND FOR ME~

i’ve read utusan malaysia today 27 july 2006

there was two big picture on the front page

first picture, a lil red child.. red blood child.. still alive..

second picture, still a lil red child..red blood child.. hug by a strong man.. dead..

why we still let it happen like that? do we have any ways to help them? besides money?

they are still so small.. so weak..and don’t know anything.. don’t know why they have to face so many challenges everyday, and at last still die.. because of WAR!

every religion taught us to forgive forgive forgive.. why don’t you try to forgive them? and let them forgive you too.. both side.. this is what you call communication..two ways communication. Without communication, there will be quarrel, argue.. like what happen when there is no communication between a husband and wife, at last end up with a "WAR". what’s the consequences? the kids will feel the pain..

same goes to these countries.. there are no communication between these countries, so it end up with a WAR, and the civilian feel the pain..!

i fully support all the important world organisation to stop them..IMMEDIATELY!

PLEASE DONATE TO THOSE WHO FEELS THE PAIN- BANK IN TO :

MBB 514271-420052

i just watch buletin utama in tv3

i couldn’t stand it anymore i SWITCH if OFF eventhough not yet ended

why is it war still have to happen? what they want from them? why why????!!! had they make you angry? what’s wrong being this races? or please just forgive them? all religion taught us to forgive..FORGIVE..i believe you have your own religion too? please forgive them if they had make you all mad..

hallo "____"what r u  waiting for? can you just do something to help them? or stop everything? they need you! make it fast…!

i’m a little bit down today when i saw one picture in utusan malaysia . one lady is hurt when they bom them.. with some new technology (but still bom).. her tummy was hurt.. with a lot of red dots.. consequences of the new technology..

and i saw in buletin utama.. a girl try to explain what had happened to her ..maybe?( she speak their language which i don’t understand)she just talk half way and suddenly she fainted just like that! i think she is too frightened to what had just happened to her country! it’s sad!

and i saw in buletin utama, everyone holding their head.. with both hands..frust..dunno what to do.. "what had happened to my place?" "where is my family?" or "who am i"?

how sad… can i stop this from happening..? i am proud to be malaysian. at least, we don’t have war like them

regards

in my opinion, my account teacher in school is quite pitiful. she is a very dedicated teacher…and.. of course she is very good in account, and i love the way she teach. it just that some of my classmates who always talk in class has made her angry and she is now quite angry and fed up with teaching us.

i seldom fall asleep in account class, but not today, cuz i fall asleep! know why?! cuz she has changed her teaching style. she often attract our attention once a few of my classmates talk, then only she continue teaching, but today she just teach only without doing anything funny or something to attract our attention.. and no wonder i feel boring and sleepy in her class today and i keep on force myself to open my eyes..scaring that it will close. and..and.. she look very moody and down,

from her eyes, i saw tiredness, tiring of entertaining all students of account class.. especially my classmates that often talk in class. she already fed up with saying "gong ma lai wa"(pls speak malay) jokingly to my classmates who talk, just to attract their attention to listen to her teaching

i feel so sad that my teacher feel fed up with my class…i really hope she will become a real her back, like previously, i miss the way she teach previously..

teacher, we need you, please don’t do that

my classmates, please be understanding,please don’t do that

by the way, something weird happen today.. not to say weird if anyone had noticed it.

it was like continously three teacher asking us " kamu sudah give up ke? janganlah.." when they came in our class.. CONTINOUSLY 6 periods (3 subject) got 3 teacher asked us..

i think they really worry about our class.. teacher thanks for your concern. i don’t know what the others think, but for me, i haven’t give up, i will still try my best to face the challenges that coming

STPM

eventhough my marks on one or two subject(s) are not very good

kay will be talking about what happen in top ten project superstar promo event in klang parade today.

in my opinion, today was a small history for klang parade(short form = kp) cuz for the first time top ten appear together on the same stage in kp. before this was just john,des,winson and leongwee

i’m very happy that a few of those top ten noticed me and jin waving the "jia you" board.. nowadays i found out that a "jia you" board is really very effective to make a performer more confident.. this is what i think after i perform in the song composing finals.. my nervousness and scare-ness just disappear like that when i saw my friends holding a board writting "jia you" down the stage.. from that day on i realise.. this two words is the most powerful word to give any kind of support..that’s why i use that board in kp today.. same goes with jin also a "jia you" board.. now i am thinking should i put this two words in my room giving myself support for facing the biggest challenge in my life at the moment-stpm?

actually it’s quite heart touching that witnessing them towards the success, from supporting them at studio during competition until john and des’s pre-grand final autograph session.. then support them in 8tv roadshow.. until today finally all ten of them can contribute voice in an album…

there are a lot of changes within them.. change hair style..slim already..tall already..etc ("tall already" maybe is i think too much lar haha)

it’s like watching a baby grows from baby stage become children.. and now they’ve become teenager..an energetic stage..

wish them all the best

eventhough i am still a bit down cuz i have no money to buy one of the cd that i’ve expected so long.. it’s the top ten project superstar album..but i still would like to congrats myself cuz finally i can control myself not to use my future money to buy it.. actually that "future money" is the money that i collect for buying my revision book and stpm past year question book..

can control myself not to use future money to buy my really favo album, that was the first reason that i would like to congrats myself

secondly, i’ve created a record, which is i didn’t bring back a cd after i attend an autograph session for the very first time! cuz ussually no matter how no money i am i will still get some money from mom to buy that cd cuz the singer is having an autograph session, then only i give back mom after i’ve collected back the amount from the monthly pocket money(still her money right hehe.. no point of giving back.. that’s what she always say hehe pai seh)

so that’s the second reason.. i created a record, i didn’t bring back a cd from an autograph session for the very first time heehee..

but still there is a sad and down feeling killing me today..i wan that cd.. T_T

it’s really a boring saturday.. need to wake up early in the morning. i got nothing to say if i wake up early every saturday morning for piano lesson cuz i really love attending piano lesson, but what happen to my this saturday is, i need to attend tuition extra class! it will be continuously on until stpm! what lah.. so boring..saturday is the best day to rest still want to have class..

ok i know it’s for our own good, but i still think one should rest more to go further.. not tuition almost everyday until no time for self study at home..so at least off saturday for us right? heikszz!!!

now waiting for sunday to come, cuz will be going out with friends.. finally..once in blue moon…:)

why those who study "that" subject will talk like that?

why those who study "this" subject will talk like that?

will it be like, students of "that" subject has that kind of personalities? and students of "this" subject has this kind of  personalities?

now i understand what TL feel. he told me this fact before but i didn’t believe, cuz i was not in his situation.

now i AM in this kind of  situation. and i can feel exactly what he felt on those days.

anger…unsatisfied…has filled us. not only us but all of us.

regards

i am still very happy with my achievement during song composing competition

eventhough it was not a champion, but second runner up is already enough for my satisfaction.

ever since i came to upper six, i feel that, challenges will make someone find back what he/she really want. and will try very best to defeat the challenges.

i’ve gone through really too much challenges in upper six, eventhough the process is really complicated, and i gone through it with sweats and tears, but when it say bye to me, i found out, actually i’ve learnt something from it, and i should be thankful. all this challenges happen from school to my beloved second home~buddhist society, from my family to friends… i feel really thankful for all these challenges. once again, thanks for waking me up.

back to song composing competition, i put very much effort on it, cuz i want it to be perfect, everday keep on thinking when is the suitable day to practice in society there.. when only i can use the PA system there… until i almost forget about my responsibility as a student to complete my homework everyday..

but anyway recently when i recall back what’ve i did, well.. couldn’t deny that i not yet reach the effort like how those champions and runner up winner did, i felt that~

teacher kok and teacher gs, thanks and thanks and thanks,

teacher kok, thanks for coaching us all the time, thanks for all the advise and it’s because of you my voice has been "sharpened up"

teacher gs, thanks for all your sms and support, your words has give me so much "power":D really appreciate that.

and all those supporter from society, really thanks for you guy’s applaud that day.. those slogans.. and those supporter-boards and flower… i was really very touch and regretful on the same time when i get to know that you guys make the boards and flower until mid night..

now would like to thank you guys again on behalf of other performer and the other 4 composer of the song. thanks!

had been wondering~is champion really that hard to achieve?

i think it’s been quite a long period that i never achieve champion, since standard 6 when i manage to get number one in bahasa melayu public speaking competition. that was the best achievement that i’ve ever get. and it makes me feel proud of myself.

right after my primary school, there were no longer this kind of chances for me to participate in a more challenging public speaking, cuz during secondary school, ya it’s true there was a story telling competition, but it was so meaningless! only 2 participant! what i got ? i got champion ya.. oh-kay..? but it was so meaningless..! not challenging at all! that’s why during secondary school i miss my primary school so much, cuz it teaches me how to face challenge. you know how many people participate public speaking during primary schoo?

more than 20 of them!

when i was in PMR i got an extreme best result of all, that was really tooo good, really too good! couldn’t deny, but what? PMR just a luck-exam for me! i still remember i was soo weak in history and geography during school exam, but by the time i saw the real PMR question i was so shock why is it so easy? and that’s the reason for me to score extreme well in all subject

now what? no-challenge again.

until SPM  i still feel that there were no-challenge for me.. i really enjoy those days with all my friends.. barbeque..etc…

consequences, i couldn’t really get what i want. i was so sad cuz i couldn’t get even A2 for my physics, i put so much hope on physics, yet i only get B3, it was a very sad news for me. B3 for physics?!!!

i still think the reason is because the feel of  "no-challenge"

once i come to form six, my new school, which got many many of my primary school ex-classmates, that time only i feel back the challenges are coming back, try to "date" with me.. everyday!

i feel really happy with these feeling,eventhough it could be stressful.. thanks to all my standard six ex-classmates. you guys have wake me up!

anyway about "champion" again. it had been 6 years, since standard six, i keep on thinking chanpion is an impossible for me, until i come to upper six, i realise~champion is not impossible if one has put really much effort on it.

i believe, there are still "champion" waiting for me to achieve in the future. i believe in myself. i must put effort on it.

but if i never put effort on it, i am willing to accept the consequences.

dear diary will you believe me?